You thought listening to KPOP artists trying to sing an American song with their Fobby Engrish accents was bad, but what about their Fobby Engrish Names?
A Name is important, if Hyori named herself SuperSlut (which she is) do
you think she would be where she is today? Actually, nevermind, she’s
so freaking hot that no matter what name she chose, she would’ve been a
slut star.
But for the unfortunate 5 below, that is not the case - get ready for the 5 worst names of KPOP!
5. H.O.T., aka High Five of Teenager
The acronym H.O.T. is actually pretty bad ass, but ‘High Five of
Teenager’ sure isn’t. Think about of it for a second, ‘HIGH FIVE OF
TEENAGER’, that should say enough. What’s sad however, is that a better
fit would’ve been ‘Homosexual Oriental Teenagers’, now that hits the
spot!
4. DBSK, aka TVXQ, aka DBSG, aka DONG BANG SHIN KI, aka DONG BANG SHIN GI, aka TOHOSHINKI
Wow, make up your damn minds will ya? DBSK or TVXQ would’ve been fine
but they had to come up with all these stupid variations. We know about
the country variations, TVXQ in China, Tohoshinki in Japan, but why not
just stick to one name? You don’t see Hyori using another name, such as
the Japanese word for slut in Japan, do you? "Look at us guys, we’re so
unique! We have special names depending on the country!" Well Guys,
we’re sorry to break it to you, in America we would call you DBSK. But
here’s the catch, the acronym wouldn’t stand for ‘Dong Bang Shin Ki’
instead you’d be known as the ‘Douche Bag Stupid Koreans’.
3. F.T. Island, aka Five Treasures Island
ARRRRR… ‘Five Treasure Island’, these fruitcakes should take their
gay treasure seeking asses and head on over to Michael Jackson’s
fantasy world, "Neverland," where they can throw a pre-pubescent bash
and MJ can sexually molest them all play with their treasures.
2. SG Wannabe, aka Simon and Garfunkel Wannabe
"Don’t judge a book by it’s cover." That’s what these boys pledged
their entire existence upon, that they can sing and be superstars
eventhough they are ugly. Well, throw all of that out the window, these
young lads are definitely as dumb as they look, their lack of brain
cells and creativity just seeps out onto their faces.
1. Rain, aka Bi
What happens when one party looks like a retard and the other one is
straight up mentally retarded? With these powers combined, there’s only
one outcome, the creation of Rain. Rain in Korean is Bi, only a true
pea-brain would agree to this catastrophe.
It’s honestly hard to take this artist seriously, not only does he have
a name like Bi, his super chinky eyes doesn’t really help the cause.
But the disaster doesn’t end there, Rain had the opportunity to change
his name during his U.S. debut plans when he ran into a little bit of
legal trouble.
Rain Corporation is a music company located in Nevada, Las Vegas, that
also manages a band called Rain (stupidity knows no bounds), when they
found out about KPOP’s Rain, they asked him to change his name. As you
can see nothing ever happened. It was the perfect opportunity for this
bi-sexual to redeem himself, but on second thought, it’s a good thing
he kept the name, it’s a perfect fit! Rain is a stupid name, and who
better to represent than the perfect dumbass?
If you liked this, check out my other master piece: The Top 10 Ho Ho Hoes of KPOP!
Note: All opinions expressed in this article are those of the
individual authors and do not necessarily represent the opinion of
allkpop.com or its management. This is a satirical article, therefore
most of the content is invented, please be advised that this article is
intended to be funny & not to be taken seriously.
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